March 29, 2014 Well, I am in the process of accepting my situation. I am still in Bamenda – an English speaking city in the North West Region. We finally got some word on the next steps. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions with lots of varying information. At first, we were going to be able to go back to post for 10 days, at any time before April 12. Now, some of the rumors were actually confirmed, so we will go back for 3 days to pack up our houses and tell all our friends, co-workers, and neighbors goodbye. I told all my friends back in village I would be back for 10 days and then had to call them all again and explain it will only be 3 days. I wanted to scream. I am not sure they all even understood what I was telling them. I am still struggling with French and it is even more difficult on the phone. I think my friend thought I said I would be back in 10 days, for good. I just let her think that in the hopes someone who actually understood me will explain it to her better. One of my friends said he hates BH more than I do, not sure that’s possible right now. All because of these people, not even from Cameroon, our villages don’t get to have the opportunities and benefits of having a development volunteer there, maybe ever again. To clarify, I haven’t done any type of super helpful things in village yet, but I do believe having a volunteer in their village can be a good opportunity. However, I think I got more out of my 4 months at post than I gave. I get very sad thinking about the people I may never see again. I don’t want to leave like this. I don’t want to leave at all, honestly, but it seems like a legitimate threat now, so it is easier to accept Peace Corps’ decision. However, it doesn’t make it any easier to say goodbye and leave my new home. I finally called my counterpart, the guy who has taken time out of his studies and personal life to work with Peace Corps for many years now. I think I was putting it off because I felt so bad. He has lost the opportunity to continue his work with Peace Corps and can only continue if they decide to re-open the post, which seems unlikely now. He really cares about his village, he wants to do good there, and he works hard. He always answered my calls, he would always accompany me when I was too scared to do something alone, and he always helped translate things in Fulfulde so I could understand. He was so patient and had such high hopes and expectations for the next two years. Although there were days that overwhelmed me, I feel like I let him down. I let down the village. After I pack up my house, sell/give away everything I can’t bring, and say goodbye to Mayo-Darlé, Peace Corps will drive me up to Ngaoundéré, the regional capital for the Adamoua region. I am happy to be able to stay in the same region, at least. Each region is very unique and different from the others. There are two Anglophone regions, the rest Francophone. There are regions with mostly Christians and there are mostly Muslim areas. Cameroon is extremely diverse. It will be nice to be able to take a little of what I’ve learned in Mayo-Darlé to my new home. I still don’t know where I am going, and will probably wind up waiting in the “case” (Peace Corps transit/flop house, and what I’ve been living in for 2 weeks now) in Ngaoundéré for a while. By the time I get my own house, I will be so happy to have a little privacy again. I thought I didn’t have any privacy in Mayo-Darlé, but case life is everything but private.