December 6, 2013 I woke up at 4:55 am to the sound of something crawling around above my head. I thought it was a mouse at first, but after hearing it fly around I’m quite certain it was a bat. My biggest fear was it coming through my tablecloth-like-material ceiling. I got out of my mosquito net in my pajama shirt with my headlamp on full strength. After a few seconds of following the noise, I decided a video might be fun for some day when I’m looking back on this crazy life. It’s not funny in the moment, but man I bet I’ll think it’s funny one day. I’m hoping my cats got that stupid bat, but who knows what happened to it. I couldn’t go back to bed after that, but I didn’t hear it flying/crawling back and forth. (Hilarious side note: mouse in French is souris, bald in French is chauve, and bat in French is chauve-souris. Literally bald mouse…day just made.) So, now it is almost 8 am and I’ve had 3 cups of Nescafe and am almost ill. I think I need some water to top off the caffeine. It’s surprisingly cold this morning, or maybe I just haven’t been up this early before. I have jeans and a sweatshirt on; it feels so homey and comfortable. I truly am a Montana girl. Like Jess said in one of her encouraging cards, I do think being from Montana, being a Bjerke woman, and having been camping before makes living in a village in Cameroon a little better. I am stubborn, used to climbing around outside, and popping a squat. The things I’m not used to are the critters and their steroid induced size. Makes me grateful for winter back home. I’ve embarrassingly asked a young man here to come in to kill a large spider in my kitchen. He laughed and said, “You are scared?” I responded with an emphatic “OUI.” He probably had a good laugh to himself and probably to his family and friends. I just want to say that I CAN kill spiders that don’t look like they can eat my hand off. It is getting closer to Christmas, I’m excited but it doesn’t feel like it at all here. Thanksgiving came and went and my birthday passed without much contact with family and friends back home. I’m trying to enjoy the holiday things I love. Heather sent me a mini Christmas tree and stocking, which I love and have strategically placed out of the reach of the kiddos. Also, I am listening to A Hometown Country Christmas, the CD of Christmas back home. I can never get sick of it. There’s even the song my Uncle Brett used to sing in church with his girls. It always makes me smile. The holiday season without family, friends, Bjerke food, and snow is rough. I’ve done this before, but I had Skype, internet, some comfort food and a sister for Christmas. It is depressing at times, but I did enjoy a trip to a nearby town with electricity, which means cold drinks, and the company of some fellow PCV’s. We ate lots of good snacks like baguettes, olives, dark chocolate, and wine. All things you can’t find here in Mayo-Darlé. I also hoarded some Vache Qui Rit, or Laughing Cow Cheese, to bring back to post with me. It is sad that is my version of cheese right now. But, at least it’s cheese and it doesn’t need a refrigerator. I brought back carrots, apples, and green peppers. Again, rare treats here in village. Yesterday, I went to a meeting with an Anglophone lady in village. That was nice, she helped translate some of the Fulfulde for me. Also, the meeting was just a group of women who save money together and help each other out when needed. It was great to be able to observe. I went to the house of the woman, who took me to the meeting, before we went and she gave me a big bowl of rice and beans. I was hungry and it was food I like, so I ate it all, I was stuffed. That was just the beginning. What I didn’t know was food is a part of this meeting. I was fed couscous and sauce, a beignet, kola nuts, and mullet (or some sort of thick drink with the texture of curdled milk). I finally had to say no to the mullet and I think the lady was like, “WHAT?” I tried, I really did, but my stomach was full to my throat with food full of acid, I wanted to run home and drink water and have a Zantac (which I did do eventually). I shoved the kola nuts and beignet in my pocket to go (Yep, that’s right, I pulled a Dean Bjerke). I gave the kola nuts to my neighbors and the beignet to my cats. Next time I know to bring some sort of to go container so I can take the food but not shove my face at the moment and, also, not to eat a whole bowl full of rice and beans before the meeting. Besides that, it was interesting and the women were very kind, welcoming, and obviously very giving with their food. Oh, and make that 4 cups of coffee and twice through A Hometown Country Christmas.

December 1, 2013 My birthday is in 3 days. I’m going to Banyo – a bigger town than Mayo-Darlé – for the day to observe and participate in World Aids Day activities. I’m hoping I can get a cold drink since they have electricity. This morning I woke up feeling like I spent yesterday working out. I was extremely tired and sore. Yesterday was a busy day. I woke up, washed my dishes, got water for the bathroom, washed my clothes, and got water for the kitchen. That is a day worth of work since everything is done by hand. Life here is so different and a little hard at times. I told my neighbor girl I was tired and she asked what I had done to be so tired. I told her yesterday I worked a lot, but today I haven’t done anything. She laughed and said life is hard here. I couldn’t agree more. The same neighbor girl took me to a potential work partner’s house who speaks English. It was a nice little break from French/Fulfulde, although everyone in the house speaks French and Fulfulde and she talks to her kids in Fulfulde. She fed me, as all Cameroonians do to their guests, and it was delicious. I ate FOUR beignets, the fried dough balls, and they weren’t small ones by any means. She makes a mean beignet. I’ll be back for those. She also served me the usual chai tea. I think it is different than chai tea back home, but it is very tasty. I love it, which is good since it is widely available. You never know what you’ll wake up to here. So far, one week in, I’ve woken up to something crawling around in the ceiling above my head, to bugs I can’t identify in my latrine, or to horses outside my window. Sometimes it is kids banging on my door saying “Maureen” or sometimes it is the large birds on the tin roof. It is always a surprise, whatever it is. Sometimes I wake up thinking there are kids outside my bedroom window, however, it is just the goats coughing and bleating which sound like children. There was one day I woke up and went to make some Nescafe and saw there was some sort of mud nest/home made inside the tin foil roll. I still am unsure what lives in there, and afraid to find out, I just left it there. Right next to my food I eat.

November 28, 2013 Happy Thanksgiving all! I miss everyone and I am sorry America, but I am pretending it is not a holiday at all to keep myself from getting sad. However, just like Thanksgiving in the States, I ETP’d tonight. (For those of you who don’t know, ETP stands for Eat ‘Til ya Puke. It’s just a saying; I usually just eat until I want to puke.) It’s the first time in a few days I’ve been this full. I made rice with Maggi (some sort of salt cube made with stuff I don’t want to think about), tomatoes, garlic, and hardboiled eggs. Quite the feast, huh?! The rice was amazingly bland but I used my peppercorn grinder to spice it right up and voilà, a wonderful feast. In true Cameroonian fashion, I had a visitor while I was eating, so I offered him a plate. He accepted and somehow got it all down. I can only imagine what he thought of this American girl’s gourmet cooking, who once tried to put tartar sauce in Snicker doodles. After that, I shared the burnt leftovers with my two cats who prefer to eat out of my dish, not theirs. They are spoiled. There’s definitely no turkey in sight here, but there’s plenty of chicken and duck running around outside. There’s no way I am going to butcher, clean, and cook any of that myself though. I’d probably break down and puke/cry/faint before I got to the cooking part and definitely wouldn’t be able to eat the meat I was just talking to outside. Yeah, I know family, I eat meat and I know where is comes from but I can’t kill it. I’ve been cleaning every day. My house is looking better and better. The dirtiness is my biggest challenge, right up there with the bugs on steroids. My neighbor said, “every time I come in you are cleaning.” I’m afraid that may not change, but we will see. I will try to let some of my OCD tenancies go here in Africa. I’ve already tried a little, but the line can’t go down any farther right now. I need some cleanliness and control over my environment. Ugh, there are cockroaches in my kitchen, bedroom and living room. There are spiders, flies, and lizards in my latrine. There are bats and mice between my ceiling and roof. There are ants in my entryway and huge birds that clamber around on my tin roof. Today I did my dishes in well water, as opposed to the river, but the downside of this is people watch over my shoulder. The neighbor lady took the soap and rag and washed my dishes for me, telling me to simply rinse them and put them in the bucket. I didn’t object, but I did feel bad. Maybe someday I will know the right way to do things here. I don’t know if it is nerves or what, but I’ve been eating like a pig here, and not a healthy pig. I eat spoonfuls, or forkfuls (whatever’s clean), of peanut butter everyday, multiple times a day. I buy Mambo bars – yes multiple bars – every day. They are mini milk chocolate bars that are cheap and okay in quality/taste. But I must say, for now they are like a special treat, and dessert after every meal. I have two cups of Starbucks Via every morning, with two cups of Licorice Spice tea at night. Those things are sure to run out soon, so I will probably switch to two cups of Nescafe and some kind of local tea. I’m sure with enough sugar and cocoa, it will be just as satisfying. Life here is extremely different. It is difficult to be here and even more so to speak, comprehend, and learn Fulfulde and French. I try, but it is exhausting. There are times throughout the day when I just shut my door and hide in my house. Thanks to my mom, I don’t sit in complete darkness though (there’s a lack of natural light in here). I love my little version of a “twig light” and think it has become my best friend, right up there with Insecticide and Mambos. Well, I only have an hour of electricity left and need to bath before it’s off because if I don’t there’s no telling what might happen in that dark latrine. One bonus here is I can heat up my bathing water, so no more cold bucket baths. Pretty exciting, and it helps me feel a little cleaner. Still hard to feel clean when you bath over your toilet hole. I guess I’ll get used to it, maybe not though. Mo in Africa is a little different than Mo in the States, but I still have a lot of the same little quarks that are hard to let go of. I’m sure some will slowly and painfully disappear over two years. Miss and love you all. I love getting any mail and thank you to everyone that has sent something so far. I sent a lot of letters during training, but there will be a big break of no mail since I’ve been moving, adjusting, and re-learning how to live like an adult.

November 27, 2013 Wow, I don’t know where to start. What an adventure. It has been quite the adjustment, again. It is difficult to explain where I am living, what life is like, and how different it is from the States. After training in Bafia, with 54 other Americans in the same boat, being shipped off to post alone is a shock. Now, I am in Mayo-Darlé in the Grand North of Cameroon. It is in the Adamoua region, a few miles away from the Nigerian border. Don’t worry; apparently we are far away from any of the Nigerian drama. Although, I’ll admit I was worried and still am. Mayo-Darlé is a small town, maybe large village, with about 6-8,000 people. It is hard to tell if that is the town or the entire area, including surrounding villages. So far, everyone has been very nice and welcoming. I’ve only been bothered by a couple people asking me for something. The kids in my neighborhood already know my name, love coming in my house, even if I’m just sitting there in silence and darkness. If I am cleaning, they come in and take the “broom” (lots of thin sticks gathered together with a rubber string) out of my hands and finish sweeping. They do a better job than I can, so I just say “Merci” and let them go. No matter their age or gender, they are definitely less scared than I am of bugs, so that is another plus when cleaning. My house is pretty nice, just needs a good scrubbing. It is solid concrete with a tin roof and a thick tablecloth-like-material as the ceiling. The ceiling is a little disconcerting because it sags a lot; God only knows what is weighing it down. The nails that hold the ceiling up are coming out of the concrete walls and bugs peak out of the crack, both dead and alive. There are three windows in my house. The two bigger ones are about 2’ by 2’ and the other maybe half that. It is pretty dark in here since there is only electricity from 6:30 – 10:30 pm. Since I am replacing a volunteer, there is quite a bit of furniture. I have a couch, some comfy chairs, a table, a bed, some bookshelves, an armoire, a desk, and shelf for dishes. I have an indoor latrine (a hole in the floor) for my bathroom and shower. It will take some getting used to. My kitchen is off the entryway with a tank of gas and a cook top stove. Similar to what one might take camping in Montana, just nicer (it was one of my splurges in the city). I live in a compound area, or maybe neighborhood is more appropriate, I honestly don’t know. All the people are very sweet. Behind my house is a small garbage pit area where we burn the trash. The exception is the kids go through my trash, either before, during, or after I am burning it. Let me tell you it makes me feel very wasteful. I’ve never found more truth to the saying “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” or whatever it is. I’d be happy to give it to them, but I don’t want to create any fights among the kids or set any type of precedence that the American will give them things all the time. Just down the hill from my house, there’s a pretty big river. I’m not sure of the name, it sounds like Marigold without the ‘d’ but that’s probably just my lack of French and Fulfulde skills. I washed my dishes in it twice now, with the instruction and help of the neighbor kids. Apparently I shouldn’t be doing that since the river is used for everything you can think of and I can get some sort of disease from it. So far, so good. I’m on the lookout for any symptoms though. I guess next time I will use the well water. Although, I got to say, it was kind of nice, hanging out and talking with the kids, washing dishes in a river. When I arrived (Sunday, November 24) I was very nervous about carrying and transporting all my stuff. However, I only ever had to carry a couple bags out of all my stuff. Everyone who was around helped me every time I had to move it. I spent a couple days in the city of Bafoussam, where I’ll go for banking (and maybe internet) once a month. From Bafoussam, I took a small bus to Mayo-Darlé. There were 19 official seats, but there were probably 28 people in the bus, a mix of adults, children, and babies (not to mention the chickens and chickadees). It left about 3 hours late, which no one seemed to think was odd. After we were all crammed in we had to stop for gas, and then another stop to fill up the tires. Throughout the trip there were multiple police checkpoints. It was uncomfortable after an hour, but after 8 hours it was painful. My butt fell asleep, my shoulder was rubbing on the metal and I actually thought we might tip over or hit a moto since the road is comparable to a back wood mountain road in Montana. When we arrived in a nearby town, it was dark out and some guy came up to me and said in French, “Nasara, get in that car over there” (Nasara is the Fulfulde version of la blanche, I actually don’t mind it as much). I tried to tell him in broken French, thanks but I will stay on the bus. Eventually, I find out the driver decided the trip was done for the night. There were about 10 of us, with our stuff, that had to continue to Mayo-Darlé. No worries though, 10 people can fit in a compact 2-door car here. There were 4 adults (including the driver) in the front seat area with one young boy. Yep, there were two grown men sitting in the driver’s seat. I’m not positive but there were at least 5 people in the back seat area. I was graciously given the front seat, but again, not super comfortable for the hour journey at mock speed on a bumpy dirt road. The driver never slowed down, even when we were driving through other towns and there were mobs of people on the road. He would simply slam on the horn and hope people moved in time – no, expected people to move in time. Pedestrian rights are non-existent here, along with the enforcement of traffic laws. I could not have been more relieved to reach Mayo-Darlé. I saw my community host as I opened the door. He is the person I met back in training, who will show me around the community, introduce me to the authorities and work with me on projects. After that short hello with a familiar face, a man came up and said “Hello, Nasara” and then told me he would take me to Sarah, the girl I’m replacing who left the following morning for the close of her Peace Corps Service. Going against 27 years of common sense, I simply grabbed my backpack and got in his car. Five minutes later I was at Sarah’s house, now my house, safe and sound. It was a wild day.

Written a while ago, but here is another post...been busy trying to pass my French exam. Send good karma my way! It's amazing how normal life can feel some days. Other days I think multiple times, "what I would give for ____". Often that blank is filled with a hot shower and running water. That sounds so magical. Other days I wish for a meal I make for myself with food I like. Almost every day I crave an ice cold drink of whatever, as long as there's ice in it. Today, it was a bug free (or almost bug free) house with electricity. I was in bed by 8pm since our house had no lights. Of course I have my little gas lantern that takes 10 matches to light, but the longer I stay up in the dark, the more bugs come out to get me. So, I shower quickly with my flickering lamp, carefully watching the bugs crawling around me. I hop in bed to listen to my comforting American girl power playlist and read some more about the girl with the dragon tattoo. I eventually put my "book" down (actually my little iPhone that doubles as my e-reader) and close my eyes. It's so safe in my mosquito net. I hear those loud frogs outside my window with some crickets and the occasional confused rooster. Today was a rough day. One of our fellow trainees went home. It weighed heavily on everyone and there were many comments of envy as she drove away. She will be home for the holidays, enjoying her loved ones, eating recognizable food, and showering with running hot water. After 4 hours of trying to prepare our upcoming 20 minute presentation in French, we learn about poisonous snakes and what not to do when or if we get bit. I think there's a lot of people thinking "what am I doing here?" I finish the day with one quick beer before "family Tuesday." I'm in no shape for an evening of broken French with a family that isn't mine. I get home at 6 pm, before dark and come back outside with my pagne (fabric) for our swearing in ceremony in 2 weeks. I ask my parents if I can walk next door to the tailor and they look at me odd and say it is night time. I decide tomorrow is better after what seems like an animated discussion next to me (but not with me). I wake up soon after falling asleep to my phone ringing repetitively. All I can think is something has happened back home. Thankfully it's nothing of the sort, just a local calling over and over, which is apparently totally normal. I use the bathroom before I re-start my motivational playlist. Tomorrow is a new day, I'll wake up early since I went to bed at 8 pm. I will visit the tailor with my pagne and the drawing of my desired dress. I will get a cold coke on the way to school from the small boutique owned by a nice man who has told me a couple times all the coke in Bafia is gone before I even ask for it. I get coffee and a beignet (sp? - fried dough covered in sugar) at 10 am and some pineapple at noon. The highlights of my day are the breaks from training. It's getting to the end of training and my lack of motivation is obvious. I move to my post in 2 weeks. I'm still quite nervous but also excited to be on my own again. I know there's some people back home who are as nervous as I am about being so close to Nigeria. All I can say is the volunteer I'm replacing has successfully been there for 2 years. She hasn't had any issues with the border and is excited for me to take over. That alone makes me relax and allows me to look forward to my future on the Cameroonian/Nigerian border. I am certain the holidays will be lonely but I'm hoping the time passes quickly and I can integrate into my new home relatively smoothly. I have a new address - some of you already have it. If not, Email me for my new address in the Grand North of Cameroon. I'd love any mail you want to send. I have been trying to write letters and I'm sure when I get to my new home I'll have even more time to write home.

Written a while ago, but here is another post...been busy trying to pass my French exam. Send good karma my way! It's amazing how normal life can feel some days. Other days I think multiple times, "what I would give for ____". Often that blank is filled with a hot shower and running water. That sounds so magical. Other days I wish for a meal I make for myself with food I like. Almost every day I crave an ice cold drink of whatever, as long as there's ice in it. Today, it was a bug free (or almost bug free) house with electricity. I was in bed by 8pm since our house had no lights. Of course I have my little gas lantern that takes 10 matches to light, but the longer I stay up in the dark, the more bugs come out to get me. So, I shower quickly with my flickering lamp, carefully watching the bugs crawling around me. I hop in bed to listen to my comforting American girl power playlist and read some more about the girl with the dragon tattoo. I eventually put my "book" down (actually my little iPhone that doubles as my e-reader) and close my eyes. It's so safe in my mosquito net. I hear those loud frogs outside my window with some crickets and the occasional confused rooster. Today was a rough day. One of our fellow trainees went home. It weighed heavily on everyone and there were many comments of envy as she drove away. She will be home for the holidays, enjoying her loved ones, eating recognizable food, and showering with running hot water. After 4 hours of trying to prepare our upcoming 20 minute presentation in French, we learn about poisonous snakes and what not to do when or if we get bit. I think there's a lot of people thinking "what am I doing here?" I finish the day with one quick beer before "family Tuesday." I'm in no shape for an evening of broken French with a family that isn't mine. I get home at 6 pm, before dark and come back outside with my pagne (fabric) for our swearing in ceremony in 2 weeks. I ask my parents if I can walk next door to the tailor and they look at me odd and say it is night time. I decide tomorrow is better after what seems like an animated discussion next to me (but not with me). I wake up soon after falling asleep to my phone ringing repetitively. All I can think is something has happened back home. Thankfully it's nothing of the sort, just a local calling over and over, which is apparently totally normal. I use the bathroom before I re-start my motivational playlist. Tomorrow is a new day, I'll wake up early since I went to bed at 8 pm. I will visit the tailor with my pagne and the drawing of my desired dress. I will get a cold coke on the way to school from the small boutique owned by a nice man who has told me a couple times all the coke in Bafia is gone before I even ask for it. I get coffee and a beignet (sp? - fried dough covered in sugar) at 10 am and some pineapple at noon. The highlights of my day are the breaks from training. It's getting to the end of training and my lack of motivation is obvious. I move to my post in 2 weeks. I'm still quite nervous but also excited to be on my own again. I know there's some people back home who are as nervous as I am about being so close to Nigeria. All I can say is the volunteer I'm replacing has successfully been there for 2 years. She hasn't had any issues with the border and is excited for me to take over. That alone makes me relax and allows me to look forward to my future on the Cameroonian/Nigerian border. I am certain the holidays will be lonely but I'm hoping the time passes quickly and I can integrate into my new home relatively smoothly. I have a new address - some of you already have it. If not, Email me for my new address in the Grand North of Cameroon. I'd love any mail you want to send. I have been trying to write letters and I'm sure when I get to my new home I'll have even more time to write home.

I'm lying in bed and itching my mosquito/black fly bites. Journaling has become an amazing distraction from doing just that until I konk out. I have been taking Benadryl almost every night so I can sleep and not itch all my skin off. It helps but there's still spots on my legs open to the murky bath water. I know, I need to stop scratching, picking, etc. My host sister gave me some tights the other day for any time I don't wear pants. It is kind of sweet how concerned they are for me and my bites. I was sick for a couple days and let me tell you there is nothing worse when you are away from home and in a developing country. I just wanted my clean bathroom to throw up in, a cozy couch to relax on, and mini saltines to eat. It made me miss home and my loved ones A LOT! Thankfully I'm feeling better and just need to remember it will pass every time I'm not feeling well. Even with all the struggles there are many things that I love about Cameroon. Every day there is something that makes me smile, laugh, or at least think "I'll do okay here." The beautiful sunsets and sunrises. They are pink, grey, red, among many other colors against the fluffy clouds. The fireflies or lightning bugs that no one seems to care too much about. When I see them I think about camping with my family, Bjerke cousins, uncle Brett and aunt Laura. The dogs who walk a fellow trainee to class every morning and then run around and play for a while. The taste of fresh fruit. Fresh, juicy pineapple for lunch and oranges and bananas for snacks. When my papa who rarely talks to me, angrily asks where all my mosquito bites are from. I imagine if I said the house or my room, he would lose it because he doesn't want me getting bit under his roof. When babies or kids laugh at or with me - usually due to my odd behavior, French or simply just how I look. (One exception was the little boy who was literally screaming bloody murder when he saw me. He was trying to hide behind his mom but she thought it was funny and kept trying to drag him closer to "la Blanche". Not great for the self esteem but kind of funny and I guess good to feel like and be the minority at some phase in my life!) When kids are running around playing like neighborhood kids should. Racing each other, playing "school," pushing a tire around with a stick, or playing football with anything they can find. I played pass with a toddler using a wine cork the other day. Cold water or cold cokes to satisfy my thirst and caffeine craving. I rarely have pop (or soda) back home but here there's nothing better than a cold coke in the morning. Well, I mean, if there was a City Brew around here, I wouldn't complain. The excitement of having electricity at night time. It has been cut off a lot lately and that means large creAtures in the bathroom, no charging of electronics, and an early bedtime (actually not bad though). Not having to bring a jacket every time I leave the house, morning or night. There a moment of debate in the morning since it is so ingrained from Montana, but then I remember I'm on the equator and probably don't need one. The fact that large bottles of beer (like 20 + oz) are only $1. We won't get into quality or temperature though. The amazing people I've met and will probably continue to meet from the US and Cameroon. I'm certain there's more, but for now that's probably enough. It is easier for me to post pictures on Facebook so check that out if you can. When possible, I'll post more on the blog. Also, be patient with spelling, grammar, and format since I've been typing blog posts on my notes app on my phone. I have no idea if people enjoy reading this or not but I hope there is or will be something interesting on here at some point. Miss all my loved ones!

I spoke to the PCV (Peace Corps Volunteer) who is currently in Mayo-Darle, where I will be moving in 5 weeks. Her name is Sarah and she made me feel infinitely better about being placed there. She said it is only 4-4.5 hours away (as opposed to the 10-16 it said in the site description) from the nearest city. She has electricity from 6:30-10:30 pm every night in her house. There is a well on the compound and forage a few minutes away on a moto. (Well water for everyday washing and drinking water from the forage.) The Nigerian border is indeed close, about a 2 hour moto ride away, but she said no one is there and there haven’t been any issues during her 2 years there. I will have a post-mate (another PCV placed in the same town) and there is a cluster of other PCV’s in towns/villages near by. There is cell reception and the possibility of having an internet key to use internet via cell service. It sounds semi-unreliable, but it’s there! The house I will be moving into has been home to 4 previous volunteers, so it is fully furnished. That is a big relief since I won’t have to go out and buy a ton of furniture when I arrive. Sarah will be there for 4 days after I arrive so she can show me around and introduce me to people. Then, she is off to America! I can’t wait to be in her shoes and come home as a RPCV (Returned Peace Corps Volunteer). I was very near tears when I received my post and was thinking I couldn’t do it for two years. Now, I am excited to go and get settled in my new home. I am sure there will still be many challenges, but it doesn’t sound as scary as it did on paper. I had to make sure I let all my loved ones know I am doing well and am still excited to be here. One thing I’m still struggling with are the creatures inside the house or my bedroom. I saw the biggest spider I’ve ever seen, and that is not an exaggeration. Two nights in a row now I’ve gone to the bathroom without electricity. With my headlamp on, I get in the bathroom, shut the door, and then spot the giant crawling around the wall next to me. It’s body was about the size of the mouse I have in my room, maybe even bigger, with legs sprawling out a few inches. The other day I went with some other PCT’s (Peace Corps Trainees) and our Program Director to play “basket” or basketball, as you may know it. We went to a nearby school with an out of the ordinary nice basketball court. It was still scorching hot and I was sweating like a pig. We played against a Cameroonian team, all large, tall, men who had some skills. I think they felt sorry for us since we had 3 girls; they loaned us two of their players. There were a couple of times I stupidly went in for the rebound and got knocked in the head by their elbows since they are about twice my height. We held our own, but I’m not sure we won. Even though I was dying from running back and forth, it was super fun to play with and against everyone. We even had our own USA cheering section (other PCT’s who didn’t play) and they definitely helped to keep us going. I’m hoping to get in on a soccer game soon. We passed the ball around for a few minutes the other week, which was just enough to get me interested in playing a game. Cameroonians are always playing soccer and on my way to school, or I guess training, there were some guys in the middle of the road with concrete blocks as goals. It had poured rain the night before and so they were splashing around in mud puddles. It was only 7 am but they were full of energy and it looked like a great time. I walked through the game and received a high five with an English “how are you?” It made my morning. After school you could still see all the little cleat marks in the dried mud on the road. Cameroon and Tanzania tied in the last World Cup game so there is a rematch in November in Yaoundé (possibly when we go their for swearing in!). Fingers crossed for the Indomitable Lions! I think there will be some unhappy locals if they don’t win. Today I have my Language Placement Interview to see if my French has improved at all in the past month. I sure hope it has, but it is difficult to tell. I still struggle to have conversations, but I’m getting better at understanding the money when I buy something. Before, I just handed them some money, waited to see if they acted like they needed more, waited for some change and hoped they gave me the right amount. I could have totally been ripped off and never would have known. The locals seem fairly trustworthy. (The other day a PCT bought some oranges and we had walked down the street to a boutique and the young boy who had sold the oranges gave the PCT the rest of her change.) Life here is interesting, different, and slow. It is a good kind of slow, or at least I think so right now. No one is in a hurry; people walk slow (my theory is walking slow means less sweating), and time is irrelevant unless it has to do with training or my 7 pm curfew. The fruit here is amazing and plentiful. Every day at lunch I have a large chunk of pineapple and papaya. I tried a tree tomato and monkey cola – the monkey cola was odd but delicious. It is kind of sweet. To open it you slam it against the ground. It has a white inside. For the tree tomato and to eat it you bite off the bottom and suck out the inside.

While reading this post, keep in mind I just found out how my life will be for 2 years and it's a little overwhelming. Things are fine just a little nervous! Well, I got my post assignment (aka where I'll be living for the next two years). In 5 weeks I am headed to the Grand North of Cameroon. The town is called Mayo-Darle, in the Adamawa region. Pretty much scared to death. It is awfully close to Nigeria, has no electricity, no running water, and 8-10 hours from the capital city of my region and the neighboring region. I guess it's meant to be since it's everything I didn't want. I'm trying to be positive and almost broke down yesterday during post announcements but I didn't want to be THAT girl. I survived and now I'm just telling myself when I come home Ill have a lot of good stories to tell. You should look it up on google maps. It is kind of entertaining to see how there's absolutely nothing there. I guess I should be happy it's on Google though. It seems isolated but let's hope I'm wrong since that was one of my biggest fears. I have some fellow volunteers in nearby towns/villages which is comforting. So far that is a big positive I keep trying to tell myself. Also, it is apparently a little cooler there and is beautiful and mountainous. In addition, there is cell service so when I'm in need of some communication with my loved ones I'm not completely S.O.L. I will be working with a lot of women's/girls empowerment issues, which will be a good challenge and very appropriate to address since the women are not considered "free." It is predominately Muslim but also has some Christians. It is fairly conservative; women must cover their shoulders and knees, are not allowed to drink, and should not offer her hand to a man for a handshake hello unless the man does so first. I'm pretty feminist and come from a family of strong women, with a dad who said we (all girls) can do anything we set our hearts on. Adamawa should be interesting and I'm hopeful I can survive 2 years there. There is also a refugee camp there that has many opportunities for Peace Corps work. All the volunteers I've talked to seem excited which helps my anxieties. I have yet to contact the current volunteers in that area but I'm sure they will be helpful. A lot of trainees got their first, second, or third choice for post. It took me a few minutes to get over my resentment and jealousy to be genuinely excited for them. Anywhere we go, we will each have our own struggles and strengths. I hope I can overcome my struggles and don't let them get the best of me. I joked before I left the States I would be living in a mud hut and while I'm sure that's not entirely true, there may be some validity to it. I am quite certain I will have a latrine, not a bathroom and after two years I think I'll have some amazing thigh muscles. My parents said they'd come visit and I'm gonna hold them to it. I won't make them stay long but I think they would love to see my new life. Not to mention a little entertaining to see me, germaphobe Mo, living in remote West Africa. To be fair, this is what I agreed to when I first signed up for Peace Corps. Once I got in country I chickened out and said I wanted running water and electricity and a city nearby. I think this is karma and I'm just re-adjusting my outlook on how I'll be living for two years. I am truly looking forward to learning, and hopefully becoming fluent in, French, maybe even learn some Fulfulde (a local language). I think the next two years will bring many challenges, triumphs, and even more first experiences. Wish me luck as I try to be less scared about the next phase of my Peace Corps adventure here in Cameroon. For the next 4-5 weeks I will have Internet fairly consistently and love any communication with my loved ones. After that, who knows what life in the bush will bring. I'll try to keep in touch, update my blog, and reply to any messages.

I've never been afraid of thunder storms, I even enjoyed them back home. I have to say as an adult in Africa during rainy season - I'm scared of thunderstorms. The lightning is so close the thunder rumbles the ground at the same time or one second after it strikes. It is not just one or two lightning strikes like that, it is like an hour or more. The lights flicker with the storm. Tonight I hurriedly took my bucket bath as it started to rain, as I've learned rain typically means no electricity and no light in the bathroom means cockroaches bathing with me. Needless to say, I'm in bed, safely inside my mosquito net, with a headlamp and my journal. The rain on the tin roof is so loud I can't hear my music even when it's blasted and a foot from my face. I've definitely developed some new fears here in Africa. For example I was never really scared of the dark except maybe when I watched too many Law and Order SVU episodes and had to sleep with the light on. Here, it is a nightly thing. I dread turning my light off and know that sooner or later my unwanted roommates will come to party in my room while I try to sleep. The cockroaches are like 10 times the size I've ever seen and they seem smarter than I gave them credit for. They jump from thing to thing and move at mock speed. The mouse seems to be out-smarting me as well and is definitely too fast. The other night I woke up to a mouse and more than one cockroach exploring my room. I turned on my headlamp and watched from inside my mosquito net. Obviously, my mosquito net is my safe haven. I considered using my emergency pepper spray I sleep with to try and kill the mouse and cockroaches but decided against it since I think it'd be better utilized on a different kind of CREEPer. I got up and spayed the slower cockroach with permethrin and waited patiently on my chair with legs up. I heard the little mouse and got up to spray him. I aimed and then he came running towards me so fast he slid towards my toes on the linoleum. He went under the bed, where I cannot reach and I sat for another hour waiting. By about 330 or 4 I was tired enough to fall back asleep with all sides of my net tucked in around me. I've never had so much coke in one day to try and caffeinate myself through class. Well that's the excitement in Bafia, now onto my trip to the Northwest Region of Cameroon. (I'm currently in the Center Region.) I took a bus, bush taxi, and moto taxi. The bus rides weren't bad since it was all trainees who were going in the same direction. It was bumpy and interesting but it was a good slow intro to Camerronian bus travel. The taxi de brousse was even more interesting. Most of the cars could be considered compact cars and there were 4-5 people in the back and 3-4 people in the front. I'm talking 2 people in the passenger seat, a "petit chauffeur" between the driver seat and passenger seat, and then the driver. In the back seat, there's a lot of cramming, and alternating sitting forward and back. The next travel adventure on a moto was a little embarrassing. We've gone over many dos and don'ts and even practiced how to get and ride a moto here. When the moment came I seemed to forget all of it and grasped the driver for dear life around his torso. My friend behind me tells me half way through the ride, trying to restrain her laughter, "Mo, you're not supposed to hold on to him like that!" After a second of accepting that fact, I let go, apologized to the driver and grabbed the leg of my friend behind me. When I got off, I apologized again for grabbing him like that and he just gave me a smile, took my money and drove away. I love driving myself on dirt bikes but taking a moto zooming through city traffic without obvious traffic signs or laws scares me. I think I'll eventually get on and not send the wrong signals to the driver! Ugh. It was an amazing break from training. We left Wednesday and didn't come back until Sunday. Both Wednesday and Sunday were all day bus rides. Wednesday we ate at a "white man restaurant" which was delicious and then had shawarma - some kind of meat sold on the street, put in a bauguette with potatoes/fries and sauce. Surprisingly good. Thursday we went on a hike then we were going to go to an orphanage but quickly decided against it when the rain started and agreed home, movies, and wine sounded better. Our host was amazing, she made us smoothies, pineapple fried rice, oatmeal, and coffee! The whole weekend was delicious. We went to a sweet missionary family's house for dinner on Friday and had pizza, chocolate cake, and some other wonderful dessert. We spent the night there, it was like a castle with running hot water, solid electricity, wifi, amazing views, and horses in the yard. Waking up on Saturday in Bamenda, we enjoyed the anglophone city. We had great bakery pastries, good NW Cameroonian lunch of foo foo and jama jama (couscous and huckleberry leaves or something?) and pizza again for dinner. Saturday night we stayed in a hotel - with running water - and enjoyed their attached club/bar. They had live music, flashing lights, couches all over, and cold beer and Smirnoff Ice. Even though the beers cost $2 USD instead of the usual $1 USD it was well worth the night of freedom, fun, and bonding with my fellow trainees. We danced until we were dripping sweat and even received some special attention from the band and local Cameroonians. On Sunday we all took a bus back to Bafia. The bus only broke down once for a few minutes. We helped push it and then once it was up and running again we hit the road. It was an amazing trip with even more firsts. In a couple hours we find out where we will be placed for two years!!! Keep your fingers crossed for a good post. I'll let you know soon.

Written 10.8.2013 but posted today.  More up to date post to come soon. 

Well, it’s 19.36 and I’m in bed.  I went to “school” from 8-1630 and then to the bar until 1820.  I walked home with my fellow “stagieres” and then ate fried plantains and sauce for dinner.  I took my usual bucket bath but because the power is out, and I broke my gas lamp, I was using a small “torch” (or flashlight) and noticed many small cockroaches out of the corner of my eye.  Thank goodness for the weaves and braids because my bath time is significantly shorter since I don’t have to wash my hair.  I have one day and then I leave for my site visit.  I am super excited to leave Bafia, have a little freedom, and see what a day in the life is like. 

Today we had new language teachers and our post preference interviews.  It is very difficult to pick my top three when I have never been to Cameroon and know very little about the location, work, etc.  I love my new language teacher even though my last one was pretty great as well.  I formed one small sentence and she praised me with a French “super!”  Pretty awesome for my French confidence. 

I had my usual fried eggs for breakfast (with a variation of fried plantains or bread).  Yes, I have fried plantains and fried eggs a lot – sometimes for breakfast and dinner – but I can’t complain because it’s not fish!  Then, at 10 we get café au lait and un beigne (fried dough with sugar), which is super, delicious.  At lunchtime, I usually pay for some fruit, rice, another beigne, and a coke or Fanta.  It’s super nutritious, obviously.  Today was special though because I also went and got a pain au chocolait avec les bananes from Mama Giselle’s.  It is definitely a comfort food; and while the chocolait is Tartina and not Nutella, it’s a decent substitute.  Then, at the bar, I have my one bierre glase (cold beer – if we are lucky) and eat my peanuts I’ve hoarded from lunch time as my “brewery snack.”  While it’s no popcorn and Lewis and Clark Miner’s Gold, it does the trick after 4 hours of language. 

For the first time away from home, I am going to try out my very precious stash of TV shows and one movie.  It is raining like crazy; with a tin roof and no insulation, it is very loud.  It is kind of comforting, and I wish I could’ve told my host Mama during dinner (by dinner I mean me eating and her watching) that my house back in the states leaked like crazy and if it rained like this in good ol’ Montana it was basically raining inside too.  Amazingly, there are no leaks I’ve noticed in the metal roof.  Although, just like at home, the magpies crawl around up they’re all the time and you can hear them!  The magpies make me think of Moka, our family dog, because they would bother her and try to steal her dog food.  She would bark, bite the chain-link fence and try to chase them away. 

On my way home from the bar, the lightning bugs were out.  I have yet to communicate how awesome they are and have someone agree with me or understand me.  I can’t tell if they are just so common it is not exciting or if my French is just that bad (a definite possibility).  Even my neighbor, another trainee, is said she has lightning bugs all over back home.  I’ve only seen them twice, the first time was at Potosi Hot Springs, which was amazing since we were relaxing in a natural hot springs, lit up by bugs!  The other time was on the farm my dad grew up on in North Dakota. 

There is no telling what the next week will bring since this past weekend was still filled with many firsts.  I got my hair braided African style with weaves and all.  It took a little over 4 hours, cost me 8000 CFA, or $16, and weighs a TON!  I ate a hamburger in Africa, no Dean or Wendy’s burger, but not bad with some kind of peanut sauce maybe.  I went to a “tiki bar” in Bafia.  Quite fun and it made me feel like I was at some resort.  Then, I showered with rainwater.  When I got home from a Saturday out with the other trainees, I was stuck in the rain and sopping wet by the time I made it home, not to mention fairly muddy since I fell in the street as well.  Since it was raining so hard, I wasn’t sure I wanted to walk back out to the well for some shower water, so I just put my bucket outside the kitchen door and in a few minutes it was full.  It was awfully cold, but felt fresh and looked amazingly clear, so it wasn’t a bad rainwater bucket shower. 

I’ve started to tuck in all sides of my mosquito net since my wonderful mouse roommate is still sharing my room.  Sadly, he has not passed away yet.  Also, there has been a 3” cockroach fairly consistently every night in my room.  I don’t know if you can imagine a cockroach so big it wakes you up in the middle of the night and sounds like a mouse.  Needless to say, it is not something I enjoy and now every time I kill one, I stash it in a water bottle like my sister used to stash bees from her room.  It is disgusting and I plug my nose every time I open it, but I don’t know what else to do with them so I don’t attract any other critters.  And every time I wake up to one, I gear myself up for smashing a mouse with my Teva, like my dad stomped a mouse back home.  I hate killing things but I definitely draw the line when creepy crawlies invade my personal space. 

I witnessed my host brother killing two chickens this weekend and then had chicken for dinner.  For those of you who know me, this was very disturbing and definitely a struggle.  At least by now they’ve understood I have a petite estomac and don’t eat much so they don’t overdo the meat.  I couldn’t be more grateful for that.  I try to eat what they give me, especially now that I don’t have to eat fish.  It is difficult to watch someone step on, slice the throat of the chicken, pluck it, rinse it in rain water, and then continue to flinch in the bucket I washed my clothes in this past weekend.  I never witnessed the meaning of “running around like a chicken with its head cut off” until this past weekend.  It is not something I want to experience again and will probably starve before I kill something to eat.  (Side note:  I am not a vegetarian and know my meat back home comes from chickens, cows, elk, deer, etc. I just don’t feel the need to talk about the animal, how it was killed, or where it came from because if I do, all I can think of is:  it must’ve had a baby, sister, mom, dad, or someone that is now looking for him/her.  It must’ve suffered when whoever killed it.  And I never want to take the life of anything intentionally – maybe except cockroaches, mice, or spiders in my room.  Anyways, while I don’t hunt/kill my food myself, I don’t judge those who do.  It is necessary but I don’t like to think about the reality of eating the chicken I was just hanging out with in the yard.)

Wish me luck as I go off to Bali, Cameroon for 5 days with a full fledged Peace Corps Volunteer.  

School Gym

The "Yellow" Bar

Wedding Dress

Host Sister at the Wedding - don't mind my sweaty slicked back hair - that's a daily hairdo here

Host brother and other kids

French class

High School Science

Two and a half weeks down in my Peace Corps Training.  Six and a half to go.  Our French immersion started and it is très difficile.  We are only allowed to speak French at the Training Center, which is usually my respite from my awkward French conversations.  I'm sure it will make a difference though, and hopefully my homestay interactions will get better.  I've gotten to see a Cameroonian wedding, a Cameroon school, and many Cameroonian insects.  Overall, it has been interesting and fun, but quite overwhelming too.  There were a lot of people staying with my host family this past weekend, which made for a busy long weekend.  All Peace Corps Trainees (PCT’s) were on lockdown Saturday to Tuesday in our homes due to elections, so there were a lot of awkward half English/half French conversations and long naps.  

I have had a lot of firsts, despite being almost 27 years old.  I’ll try to include them all, but I’m sure I will forget some.  I have experienced/seen my first…

• ·    Entire fish meal (head, tail, skin, bones, etc.)
• ·      Allergic reaction to something (fish!)
• ·      Mouse roommate (who will pass away soon!)
• ·      Bucket “shower”
• ·      Praying mantis
• ·      Hunted and killed multiple 3" cockroaches with a headlamp on
• ·      Attended a Cameroonian wedding
• ·      Got a dress made with the same fabric as my host family
• ·      Did my laundry in two buckets (although my host sister re-scrubbed everything since I have wussy American hands)
• ·      Gotten multiple buckets of water from the well (It takes a few tries to fill the bucket full but I think my technique is getting better.  I’m pretty sure my muscles are bulging but the other day my host dad said to me, “you carry little water.") 
• ·      Ate some “meat” after finding a small tongue on my plate (Note to my brother-in-law Brad:  I’m trying not to offend anyone by refusing food and trying hard to hide my facial expressions but there’s been times…)
• ·      Ate cacao straight off the tree (it is an odd fruit – I tried breaking it open then my sister did it for me, I sucked one of the white pockets off the middle and chomped down to find some odd purple-y crunchies.  Then, I found out you should only suck on them and spit it out.  It is pretty sweet and looks kind of like a marshmallow with a crunchy center)
• ·      Sat through a Cameroonian French science class for kids about high school age

My host family is very kind and welcoming.  Communication is difficult because my French is very poor and, unfortunately, I am sure I have made many faux pas. 

The training is going well, a lot of information to take in.  The long weekend was a good break from training but it provided a lot of time to miss my loved ones too.  My sister and mom asked me if it is what I expected, and honestly I don't know what I expected since it was the complete unknown.  Even though there's been many moments of "What am I doing here?", "Why am I here?", and "Why am I not at home with my loved ones?"  Meaghan told me she had a dream that I came home and she was mortified because I didn't fulfill my dream and she wanted me to get on the first plane back to Cameroon.  I do miss all of you and hope things back home are going well.  I have made a lot of new friends here who are in the same boat, which makes commiserating easy.  I am trying to maintain a certain level of positivity but at times it is très difficile.  While I am trying to integrate, there is a lot of comfort in time spent with my fellow American PCT’s.  My Buddhism book stays inside my mosquito net with me so I can read it every night and keep myself “centered.”  If anyone feels like sending mail, it will be much appreciated and keep me positive too.