I'm lying in bed and itching my mosquito/black fly bites. Journaling has become an amazing distraction from doing just that until I konk out. I have been taking Benadryl almost every night so I can sleep and not itch all my skin off. It helps but there's still spots on my legs open to the murky bath water. I know, I need to stop scratching, picking, etc. My host sister gave me some tights the other day for any time I don't wear pants. It is kind of sweet how concerned they are for me and my bites. I was sick for a couple days and let me tell you there is nothing worse when you are away from home and in a developing country. I just wanted my clean bathroom to throw up in, a cozy couch to relax on, and mini saltines to eat. It made me miss home and my loved ones A LOT! Thankfully I'm feeling better and just need to remember it will pass every time I'm not feeling well. Even with all the struggles there are many things that I love about Cameroon. Every day there is something that makes me smile, laugh, or at least think "I'll do okay here." The beautiful sunsets and sunrises. They are pink, grey, red, among many other colors against the fluffy clouds. The fireflies or lightning bugs that no one seems to care too much about. When I see them I think about camping with my family, Bjerke cousins, uncle Brett and aunt Laura. The dogs who walk a fellow trainee to class every morning and then run around and play for a while. The taste of fresh fruit. Fresh, juicy pineapple for lunch and oranges and bananas for snacks. When my papa who rarely talks to me, angrily asks where all my mosquito bites are from. I imagine if I said the house or my room, he would lose it because he doesn't want me getting bit under his roof. When babies or kids laugh at or with me - usually due to my odd behavior, French or simply just how I look. (One exception was the little boy who was literally screaming bloody murder when he saw me. He was trying to hide behind his mom but she thought it was funny and kept trying to drag him closer to "la Blanche". Not great for the self esteem but kind of funny and I guess good to feel like and be the minority at some phase in my life!) When kids are running around playing like neighborhood kids should. Racing each other, playing "school," pushing a tire around with a stick, or playing football with anything they can find. I played pass with a toddler using a wine cork the other day. Cold water or cold cokes to satisfy my thirst and caffeine craving. I rarely have pop (or soda) back home but here there's nothing better than a cold coke in the morning. Well, I mean, if there was a City Brew around here, I wouldn't complain. The excitement of having electricity at night time. It has been cut off a lot lately and that means large creAtures in the bathroom, no charging of electronics, and an early bedtime (actually not bad though). Not having to bring a jacket every time I leave the house, morning or night. There a moment of debate in the morning since it is so ingrained from Montana, but then I remember I'm on the equator and probably don't need one. The fact that large bottles of beer (like 20 + oz) are only $1. We won't get into quality or temperature though. The amazing people I've met and will probably continue to meet from the US and Cameroon. I'm certain there's more, but for now that's probably enough. It is easier for me to post pictures on Facebook so check that out if you can. When possible, I'll post more on the blog. Also, be patient with spelling, grammar, and format since I've been typing blog posts on my notes app on my phone. I have no idea if people enjoy reading this or not but I hope there is or will be something interesting on here at some point. Miss all my loved ones!

I spoke to the PCV (Peace Corps Volunteer) who is currently in Mayo-Darle, where I will be moving in 5 weeks. Her name is Sarah and she made me feel infinitely better about being placed there. She said it is only 4-4.5 hours away (as opposed to the 10-16 it said in the site description) from the nearest city. She has electricity from 6:30-10:30 pm every night in her house. There is a well on the compound and forage a few minutes away on a moto. (Well water for everyday washing and drinking water from the forage.) The Nigerian border is indeed close, about a 2 hour moto ride away, but she said no one is there and there haven’t been any issues during her 2 years there. I will have a post-mate (another PCV placed in the same town) and there is a cluster of other PCV’s in towns/villages near by. There is cell reception and the possibility of having an internet key to use internet via cell service. It sounds semi-unreliable, but it’s there! The house I will be moving into has been home to 4 previous volunteers, so it is fully furnished. That is a big relief since I won’t have to go out and buy a ton of furniture when I arrive. Sarah will be there for 4 days after I arrive so she can show me around and introduce me to people. Then, she is off to America! I can’t wait to be in her shoes and come home as a RPCV (Returned Peace Corps Volunteer). I was very near tears when I received my post and was thinking I couldn’t do it for two years. Now, I am excited to go and get settled in my new home. I am sure there will still be many challenges, but it doesn’t sound as scary as it did on paper. I had to make sure I let all my loved ones know I am doing well and am still excited to be here. One thing I’m still struggling with are the creatures inside the house or my bedroom. I saw the biggest spider I’ve ever seen, and that is not an exaggeration. Two nights in a row now I’ve gone to the bathroom without electricity. With my headlamp on, I get in the bathroom, shut the door, and then spot the giant crawling around the wall next to me. It’s body was about the size of the mouse I have in my room, maybe even bigger, with legs sprawling out a few inches. The other day I went with some other PCT’s (Peace Corps Trainees) and our Program Director to play “basket” or basketball, as you may know it. We went to a nearby school with an out of the ordinary nice basketball court. It was still scorching hot and I was sweating like a pig. We played against a Cameroonian team, all large, tall, men who had some skills. I think they felt sorry for us since we had 3 girls; they loaned us two of their players. There were a couple of times I stupidly went in for the rebound and got knocked in the head by their elbows since they are about twice my height. We held our own, but I’m not sure we won. Even though I was dying from running back and forth, it was super fun to play with and against everyone. We even had our own USA cheering section (other PCT’s who didn’t play) and they definitely helped to keep us going. I’m hoping to get in on a soccer game soon. We passed the ball around for a few minutes the other week, which was just enough to get me interested in playing a game. Cameroonians are always playing soccer and on my way to school, or I guess training, there were some guys in the middle of the road with concrete blocks as goals. It had poured rain the night before and so they were splashing around in mud puddles. It was only 7 am but they were full of energy and it looked like a great time. I walked through the game and received a high five with an English “how are you?” It made my morning. After school you could still see all the little cleat marks in the dried mud on the road. Cameroon and Tanzania tied in the last World Cup game so there is a rematch in November in Yaoundé (possibly when we go their for swearing in!). Fingers crossed for the Indomitable Lions! I think there will be some unhappy locals if they don’t win. Today I have my Language Placement Interview to see if my French has improved at all in the past month. I sure hope it has, but it is difficult to tell. I still struggle to have conversations, but I’m getting better at understanding the money when I buy something. Before, I just handed them some money, waited to see if they acted like they needed more, waited for some change and hoped they gave me the right amount. I could have totally been ripped off and never would have known. The locals seem fairly trustworthy. (The other day a PCT bought some oranges and we had walked down the street to a boutique and the young boy who had sold the oranges gave the PCT the rest of her change.) Life here is interesting, different, and slow. It is a good kind of slow, or at least I think so right now. No one is in a hurry; people walk slow (my theory is walking slow means less sweating), and time is irrelevant unless it has to do with training or my 7 pm curfew. The fruit here is amazing and plentiful. Every day at lunch I have a large chunk of pineapple and papaya. I tried a tree tomato and monkey cola – the monkey cola was odd but delicious. It is kind of sweet. To open it you slam it against the ground. It has a white inside. For the tree tomato and to eat it you bite off the bottom and suck out the inside.

While reading this post, keep in mind I just found out how my life will be for 2 years and it's a little overwhelming. Things are fine just a little nervous! Well, I got my post assignment (aka where I'll be living for the next two years). In 5 weeks I am headed to the Grand North of Cameroon. The town is called Mayo-Darle, in the Adamawa region. Pretty much scared to death. It is awfully close to Nigeria, has no electricity, no running water, and 8-10 hours from the capital city of my region and the neighboring region. I guess it's meant to be since it's everything I didn't want. I'm trying to be positive and almost broke down yesterday during post announcements but I didn't want to be THAT girl. I survived and now I'm just telling myself when I come home Ill have a lot of good stories to tell. You should look it up on google maps. It is kind of entertaining to see how there's absolutely nothing there. I guess I should be happy it's on Google though. It seems isolated but let's hope I'm wrong since that was one of my biggest fears. I have some fellow volunteers in nearby towns/villages which is comforting. So far that is a big positive I keep trying to tell myself. Also, it is apparently a little cooler there and is beautiful and mountainous. In addition, there is cell service so when I'm in need of some communication with my loved ones I'm not completely S.O.L. I will be working with a lot of women's/girls empowerment issues, which will be a good challenge and very appropriate to address since the women are not considered "free." It is predominately Muslim but also has some Christians. It is fairly conservative; women must cover their shoulders and knees, are not allowed to drink, and should not offer her hand to a man for a handshake hello unless the man does so first. I'm pretty feminist and come from a family of strong women, with a dad who said we (all girls) can do anything we set our hearts on. Adamawa should be interesting and I'm hopeful I can survive 2 years there. There is also a refugee camp there that has many opportunities for Peace Corps work. All the volunteers I've talked to seem excited which helps my anxieties. I have yet to contact the current volunteers in that area but I'm sure they will be helpful. A lot of trainees got their first, second, or third choice for post. It took me a few minutes to get over my resentment and jealousy to be genuinely excited for them. Anywhere we go, we will each have our own struggles and strengths. I hope I can overcome my struggles and don't let them get the best of me. I joked before I left the States I would be living in a mud hut and while I'm sure that's not entirely true, there may be some validity to it. I am quite certain I will have a latrine, not a bathroom and after two years I think I'll have some amazing thigh muscles. My parents said they'd come visit and I'm gonna hold them to it. I won't make them stay long but I think they would love to see my new life. Not to mention a little entertaining to see me, germaphobe Mo, living in remote West Africa. To be fair, this is what I agreed to when I first signed up for Peace Corps. Once I got in country I chickened out and said I wanted running water and electricity and a city nearby. I think this is karma and I'm just re-adjusting my outlook on how I'll be living for two years. I am truly looking forward to learning, and hopefully becoming fluent in, French, maybe even learn some Fulfulde (a local language). I think the next two years will bring many challenges, triumphs, and even more first experiences. Wish me luck as I try to be less scared about the next phase of my Peace Corps adventure here in Cameroon. For the next 4-5 weeks I will have Internet fairly consistently and love any communication with my loved ones. After that, who knows what life in the bush will bring. I'll try to keep in touch, update my blog, and reply to any messages.

I've never been afraid of thunder storms, I even enjoyed them back home. I have to say as an adult in Africa during rainy season - I'm scared of thunderstorms. The lightning is so close the thunder rumbles the ground at the same time or one second after it strikes. It is not just one or two lightning strikes like that, it is like an hour or more. The lights flicker with the storm. Tonight I hurriedly took my bucket bath as it started to rain, as I've learned rain typically means no electricity and no light in the bathroom means cockroaches bathing with me. Needless to say, I'm in bed, safely inside my mosquito net, with a headlamp and my journal. The rain on the tin roof is so loud I can't hear my music even when it's blasted and a foot from my face. I've definitely developed some new fears here in Africa. For example I was never really scared of the dark except maybe when I watched too many Law and Order SVU episodes and had to sleep with the light on. Here, it is a nightly thing. I dread turning my light off and know that sooner or later my unwanted roommates will come to party in my room while I try to sleep. The cockroaches are like 10 times the size I've ever seen and they seem smarter than I gave them credit for. They jump from thing to thing and move at mock speed. The mouse seems to be out-smarting me as well and is definitely too fast. The other night I woke up to a mouse and more than one cockroach exploring my room. I turned on my headlamp and watched from inside my mosquito net. Obviously, my mosquito net is my safe haven. I considered using my emergency pepper spray I sleep with to try and kill the mouse and cockroaches but decided against it since I think it'd be better utilized on a different kind of CREEPer. I got up and spayed the slower cockroach with permethrin and waited patiently on my chair with legs up. I heard the little mouse and got up to spray him. I aimed and then he came running towards me so fast he slid towards my toes on the linoleum. He went under the bed, where I cannot reach and I sat for another hour waiting. By about 330 or 4 I was tired enough to fall back asleep with all sides of my net tucked in around me. I've never had so much coke in one day to try and caffeinate myself through class. Well that's the excitement in Bafia, now onto my trip to the Northwest Region of Cameroon. (I'm currently in the Center Region.) I took a bus, bush taxi, and moto taxi. The bus rides weren't bad since it was all trainees who were going in the same direction. It was bumpy and interesting but it was a good slow intro to Camerronian bus travel. The taxi de brousse was even more interesting. Most of the cars could be considered compact cars and there were 4-5 people in the back and 3-4 people in the front. I'm talking 2 people in the passenger seat, a "petit chauffeur" between the driver seat and passenger seat, and then the driver. In the back seat, there's a lot of cramming, and alternating sitting forward and back. The next travel adventure on a moto was a little embarrassing. We've gone over many dos and don'ts and even practiced how to get and ride a moto here. When the moment came I seemed to forget all of it and grasped the driver for dear life around his torso. My friend behind me tells me half way through the ride, trying to restrain her laughter, "Mo, you're not supposed to hold on to him like that!" After a second of accepting that fact, I let go, apologized to the driver and grabbed the leg of my friend behind me. When I got off, I apologized again for grabbing him like that and he just gave me a smile, took my money and drove away. I love driving myself on dirt bikes but taking a moto zooming through city traffic without obvious traffic signs or laws scares me. I think I'll eventually get on and not send the wrong signals to the driver! Ugh. It was an amazing break from training. We left Wednesday and didn't come back until Sunday. Both Wednesday and Sunday were all day bus rides. Wednesday we ate at a "white man restaurant" which was delicious and then had shawarma - some kind of meat sold on the street, put in a bauguette with potatoes/fries and sauce. Surprisingly good. Thursday we went on a hike then we were going to go to an orphanage but quickly decided against it when the rain started and agreed home, movies, and wine sounded better. Our host was amazing, she made us smoothies, pineapple fried rice, oatmeal, and coffee! The whole weekend was delicious. We went to a sweet missionary family's house for dinner on Friday and had pizza, chocolate cake, and some other wonderful dessert. We spent the night there, it was like a castle with running hot water, solid electricity, wifi, amazing views, and horses in the yard. Waking up on Saturday in Bamenda, we enjoyed the anglophone city. We had great bakery pastries, good NW Cameroonian lunch of foo foo and jama jama (couscous and huckleberry leaves or something?) and pizza again for dinner. Saturday night we stayed in a hotel - with running water - and enjoyed their attached club/bar. They had live music, flashing lights, couches all over, and cold beer and Smirnoff Ice. Even though the beers cost $2 USD instead of the usual $1 USD it was well worth the night of freedom, fun, and bonding with my fellow trainees. We danced until we were dripping sweat and even received some special attention from the band and local Cameroonians. On Sunday we all took a bus back to Bafia. The bus only broke down once for a few minutes. We helped push it and then once it was up and running again we hit the road. It was an amazing trip with even more firsts. In a couple hours we find out where we will be placed for two years!!! Keep your fingers crossed for a good post. I'll let you know soon.

Written 10.8.2013 but posted today.  More up to date post to come soon. 

Well, it’s 19.36 and I’m in bed.  I went to “school” from 8-1630 and then to the bar until 1820.  I walked home with my fellow “stagieres” and then ate fried plantains and sauce for dinner.  I took my usual bucket bath but because the power is out, and I broke my gas lamp, I was using a small “torch” (or flashlight) and noticed many small cockroaches out of the corner of my eye.  Thank goodness for the weaves and braids because my bath time is significantly shorter since I don’t have to wash my hair.  I have one day and then I leave for my site visit.  I am super excited to leave Bafia, have a little freedom, and see what a day in the life is like. 

Today we had new language teachers and our post preference interviews.  It is very difficult to pick my top three when I have never been to Cameroon and know very little about the location, work, etc.  I love my new language teacher even though my last one was pretty great as well.  I formed one small sentence and she praised me with a French “super!”  Pretty awesome for my French confidence. 

I had my usual fried eggs for breakfast (with a variation of fried plantains or bread).  Yes, I have fried plantains and fried eggs a lot – sometimes for breakfast and dinner – but I can’t complain because it’s not fish!  Then, at 10 we get café au lait and un beigne (fried dough with sugar), which is super, delicious.  At lunchtime, I usually pay for some fruit, rice, another beigne, and a coke or Fanta.  It’s super nutritious, obviously.  Today was special though because I also went and got a pain au chocolait avec les bananes from Mama Giselle’s.  It is definitely a comfort food; and while the chocolait is Tartina and not Nutella, it’s a decent substitute.  Then, at the bar, I have my one bierre glase (cold beer – if we are lucky) and eat my peanuts I’ve hoarded from lunch time as my “brewery snack.”  While it’s no popcorn and Lewis and Clark Miner’s Gold, it does the trick after 4 hours of language. 

For the first time away from home, I am going to try out my very precious stash of TV shows and one movie.  It is raining like crazy; with a tin roof and no insulation, it is very loud.  It is kind of comforting, and I wish I could’ve told my host Mama during dinner (by dinner I mean me eating and her watching) that my house back in the states leaked like crazy and if it rained like this in good ol’ Montana it was basically raining inside too.  Amazingly, there are no leaks I’ve noticed in the metal roof.  Although, just like at home, the magpies crawl around up they’re all the time and you can hear them!  The magpies make me think of Moka, our family dog, because they would bother her and try to steal her dog food.  She would bark, bite the chain-link fence and try to chase them away. 

On my way home from the bar, the lightning bugs were out.  I have yet to communicate how awesome they are and have someone agree with me or understand me.  I can’t tell if they are just so common it is not exciting or if my French is just that bad (a definite possibility).  Even my neighbor, another trainee, is said she has lightning bugs all over back home.  I’ve only seen them twice, the first time was at Potosi Hot Springs, which was amazing since we were relaxing in a natural hot springs, lit up by bugs!  The other time was on the farm my dad grew up on in North Dakota. 

There is no telling what the next week will bring since this past weekend was still filled with many firsts.  I got my hair braided African style with weaves and all.  It took a little over 4 hours, cost me 8000 CFA, or $16, and weighs a TON!  I ate a hamburger in Africa, no Dean or Wendy’s burger, but not bad with some kind of peanut sauce maybe.  I went to a “tiki bar” in Bafia.  Quite fun and it made me feel like I was at some resort.  Then, I showered with rainwater.  When I got home from a Saturday out with the other trainees, I was stuck in the rain and sopping wet by the time I made it home, not to mention fairly muddy since I fell in the street as well.  Since it was raining so hard, I wasn’t sure I wanted to walk back out to the well for some shower water, so I just put my bucket outside the kitchen door and in a few minutes it was full.  It was awfully cold, but felt fresh and looked amazingly clear, so it wasn’t a bad rainwater bucket shower. 

I’ve started to tuck in all sides of my mosquito net since my wonderful mouse roommate is still sharing my room.  Sadly, he has not passed away yet.  Also, there has been a 3” cockroach fairly consistently every night in my room.  I don’t know if you can imagine a cockroach so big it wakes you up in the middle of the night and sounds like a mouse.  Needless to say, it is not something I enjoy and now every time I kill one, I stash it in a water bottle like my sister used to stash bees from her room.  It is disgusting and I plug my nose every time I open it, but I don’t know what else to do with them so I don’t attract any other critters.  And every time I wake up to one, I gear myself up for smashing a mouse with my Teva, like my dad stomped a mouse back home.  I hate killing things but I definitely draw the line when creepy crawlies invade my personal space. 

I witnessed my host brother killing two chickens this weekend and then had chicken for dinner.  For those of you who know me, this was very disturbing and definitely a struggle.  At least by now they’ve understood I have a petite estomac and don’t eat much so they don’t overdo the meat.  I couldn’t be more grateful for that.  I try to eat what they give me, especially now that I don’t have to eat fish.  It is difficult to watch someone step on, slice the throat of the chicken, pluck it, rinse it in rain water, and then continue to flinch in the bucket I washed my clothes in this past weekend.  I never witnessed the meaning of “running around like a chicken with its head cut off” until this past weekend.  It is not something I want to experience again and will probably starve before I kill something to eat.  (Side note:  I am not a vegetarian and know my meat back home comes from chickens, cows, elk, deer, etc. I just don’t feel the need to talk about the animal, how it was killed, or where it came from because if I do, all I can think of is:  it must’ve had a baby, sister, mom, dad, or someone that is now looking for him/her.  It must’ve suffered when whoever killed it.  And I never want to take the life of anything intentionally – maybe except cockroaches, mice, or spiders in my room.  Anyways, while I don’t hunt/kill my food myself, I don’t judge those who do.  It is necessary but I don’t like to think about the reality of eating the chicken I was just hanging out with in the yard.)

Wish me luck as I go off to Bali, Cameroon for 5 days with a full fledged Peace Corps Volunteer.  

School Gym

The "Yellow" Bar

Wedding Dress

Host Sister at the Wedding - don't mind my sweaty slicked back hair - that's a daily hairdo here

Host brother and other kids

French class

High School Science

Two and a half weeks down in my Peace Corps Training.  Six and a half to go.  Our French immersion started and it is très difficile.  We are only allowed to speak French at the Training Center, which is usually my respite from my awkward French conversations.  I'm sure it will make a difference though, and hopefully my homestay interactions will get better.  I've gotten to see a Cameroonian wedding, a Cameroon school, and many Cameroonian insects.  Overall, it has been interesting and fun, but quite overwhelming too.  There were a lot of people staying with my host family this past weekend, which made for a busy long weekend.  All Peace Corps Trainees (PCT’s) were on lockdown Saturday to Tuesday in our homes due to elections, so there were a lot of awkward half English/half French conversations and long naps.  

I have had a lot of firsts, despite being almost 27 years old.  I’ll try to include them all, but I’m sure I will forget some.  I have experienced/seen my first…

• ·    Entire fish meal (head, tail, skin, bones, etc.)
• ·      Allergic reaction to something (fish!)
• ·      Mouse roommate (who will pass away soon!)
• ·      Bucket “shower”
• ·      Praying mantis
• ·      Hunted and killed multiple 3" cockroaches with a headlamp on
• ·      Attended a Cameroonian wedding
• ·      Got a dress made with the same fabric as my host family
• ·      Did my laundry in two buckets (although my host sister re-scrubbed everything since I have wussy American hands)
• ·      Gotten multiple buckets of water from the well (It takes a few tries to fill the bucket full but I think my technique is getting better.  I’m pretty sure my muscles are bulging but the other day my host dad said to me, “you carry little water.") 
• ·      Ate some “meat” after finding a small tongue on my plate (Note to my brother-in-law Brad:  I’m trying not to offend anyone by refusing food and trying hard to hide my facial expressions but there’s been times…)
• ·      Ate cacao straight off the tree (it is an odd fruit – I tried breaking it open then my sister did it for me, I sucked one of the white pockets off the middle and chomped down to find some odd purple-y crunchies.  Then, I found out you should only suck on them and spit it out.  It is pretty sweet and looks kind of like a marshmallow with a crunchy center)
• ·      Sat through a Cameroonian French science class for kids about high school age

My host family is very kind and welcoming.  Communication is difficult because my French is very poor and, unfortunately, I am sure I have made many faux pas. 

The training is going well, a lot of information to take in.  The long weekend was a good break from training but it provided a lot of time to miss my loved ones too.  My sister and mom asked me if it is what I expected, and honestly I don't know what I expected since it was the complete unknown.  Even though there's been many moments of "What am I doing here?", "Why am I here?", and "Why am I not at home with my loved ones?"  Meaghan told me she had a dream that I came home and she was mortified because I didn't fulfill my dream and she wanted me to get on the first plane back to Cameroon.  I do miss all of you and hope things back home are going well.  I have made a lot of new friends here who are in the same boat, which makes commiserating easy.  I am trying to maintain a certain level of positivity but at times it is très difficile.  While I am trying to integrate, there is a lot of comfort in time spent with my fellow American PCT’s.  My Buddhism book stays inside my mosquito net with me so I can read it every night and keep myself “centered.”  If anyone feels like sending mail, it will be much appreciated and keep me positive too.