Grandparents are the best

April 19, 2014

I just found out that tomorrow is Easter. Missed that one in the midst of traveling, moving, “vacationing,” and being overwhelmed. I just got to Ngaoundéré – the capital of the Adamaoua region – and my new banking city. There was a pile of mail waiting for me. I got a small care package from the Cole’s and many cards and letters from my friends and family. THANK YOU! Made my day, as always. And, I’m sorry I haven’t been writing any letters lately.


In two days I will move to my new house and new village, Tourningal. After a month or so of moving around, living out of a backpack, and living in “cases” (Peace Corps transit houses) and hotels, I am looking forward to getting settled back in. But, that’s about all I’m looking forward to. I have a small table, 2 chairs, and a bookshelf for furniture because there wasn’t enough space to bring everything. I need to at least buy a mattress before Monday. I don’t want to start over. I am not excited to have to integrate all over again. (Also, I don’t know how to integrate into a community without eating couscous at nearly every meal, which results in instant weight gain.) People who came to country at the same time are starting projects, doing real work, and here I am at square one, again. It is so frustrating and too overwhelming to think about. I know there are many positives or small silver linings to this situation, but I can’t see those right now. I need a serious attitude adjustment.


One thing that is keeping me going is my parents and Meggie are coming to see me in 7 weeks. Yep, I’ll have 7 weeks to integrate, make friends, and explain to my new village that my family is coming before they arrive. Let’s hope it goes by fast! After a week of Cameroon, we will go to France and I get to see two more sisters and meet my new nephew! This is what’s been driving me lately.


Also, I felt very rejuvenated after being on the beach for a week. Peace Corps put on a conference for young girls and women and I got to bring a young girl and young woman from my old village. It was their first time swimming in the ocean. When I floated on my back they screamed and said it was sorcery. As we stood on the beach and looked out on the ocean, they asked me where the water ends. They took salty water and black sand back to Mayo-Darlé and told me they were going to give it to someone to drink. I couldn’t help but think of bringing sand back to Montana from Hawaii as a teenager. Their per diem for food was 5,000 FCFA ($10) and they never spent more than 2,000 FCFA ($4) on a meal and that was when they told me the food was too expensive. They wanted me to keep the money for them because when I tried to give them the money for all three days, they refused to take it. Needless to say, I sent them home with a lot of leftover money they never used. They are very frugal and it is very humbling. It was a good few days with them. It was a very educational experience for them and for me. After they left, I stayed with my friends and we found a beautiful beach. I truly didn’t want to leave. If I had more money, I would’ve stayed longer. I didn’t have a house yet and I didn’t see the point in rushing back. Probably a good thing I was running out of money.


After the beach, I went to Yaoundé, the capital of Cameroon. Peace Corps has an amazing new office and “case” there. I took the longest running hot water shower in a long time. I froze my water bottle and chomped ice like crazy. I washed my clothes in a washing machine; I forgot how clean clothes feel.


After spoiling myself and running out of money, I took the train up here to Ngaoundéré. It is a night train and it is a long journey. It’s been an average of 15 hours the two times I’ve taken it. Another PCV said she took it the day before and it took them 20 plus hours because a second-class car caught on fire and everyone had to get off the train. I realized I shouldn’t complain about my relatively smooth 15-hour trip. And I decided I would never take second-class.


During the train ride, I made friends with a grandma and little girl sitting next to me. The grandma was so kind and caring to her granddaughter. The girl was maybe 3 or 4 years old; she was so chatty and not afraid of me at all. A few hours into the trip they started calling me “tantine” and “grande soeur”. The little girl had many questions for me. Some examples include: “where’s your dad?” “where’s your mom?” “who hurt you on your chest? (referring to my scar)”, and “where are your kids?” I told her my mom and dad are far away and she thought that was odd.


When I took the last swig of a juice I had with me, she said, “You drank all your juice and didn’t give me any.” All I could think was, “uh oh”. I offered her the basically empty bottle and she sucked out the last drop and was content with that. We shared our cookies while her grandma said she didn’t want any because they are for kids. Honestly, I would’ve done the same if I hadn’t already bought and eaten some cookies in front of her because she was giving me partially eaten pieces of cookie that were slobbered on and I wasn’t too interested in putting that in my mouth. I tried to refuse but she pushed it in my face. I finally took it and was planning on throwing it on the floor but she was watching me intently, telling me to eat it.


She was very curious about the picture of a baby on my phone, I explained it was the baby of my big sister. She, of course, asked where they were. I said they were far away, also, but that my family will visit me soon. She told me her mom was sick and in the hospital. I didn’t understand what her mom was going through in the hospital, she spoke better French than I did, but I could tell she wasn’t happy about it.


She and her grandma were sharing a seat and eventually Mimi (the young girl) came and joined me in my seat after she told me her butt hurt. Her grandma fell asleep for a bit and I told her she is making her grandma tired. When her grandma woke up, Mimi told her grandma, “grandma close your eyes, you are tired.” Her grandma laughed and followed the instructions of the very assertive young girl.


Mimi talked until the second she fell asleep. In the morning, I kept closing my eyes and Mimi would tell me, “ne ferme pas tes yeux” (don’t close your eyes!). I couldn’t help but laugh, and although I tried to keep those eyes open, she repeated that every time I tried to sleep. There was an old man across the aisle who commented, “Grandma is suffering with the child but it is good you have a nice white next to you.” (It is hard to translate but people here don’t like to see anyone suffering and often comment about suffering.)


Her grandma and I kept asking each other, “Do you know which village this is” when the train would stop and every time we would tell each other “I don’t know”. I couldn’t help but laugh when she told me she was just waiting until everyone else gets off to know when she should get off. I told her that was my plan too.


I enjoyed being Mimi’s big sister and aunty for the night. Kids always make life seem lighter and happier. Mimi helped me relax a bit and be a little more positive about life here. Her little smiling face and sarcastic remarks still make me laugh to myself. You can see the funny little girl, and the beach, below.


And to my patient and loving grandparents back home, I love you and miss you tons. Thanks for "suffering" with me throughout my life. I couldn't ask for better grandparents.